Chaos, calamity, and havoc

 

In the five hundred year long history of watches, there has never been anything quite like the release of ‘the watch that broke the internet’ - the Omega x Swatch MoonSwatch. It seemed every man, woman, child and dog, was lining up for the watch. But this wasn’t just Sydney or Melbourne; every single Swatch boutique in the world managed to attract hundreds, if not thousands of people all desperately trying to buy a Speedmaster for only $260 USD / $380 AUD. One of the one hundred and fifty or so people in Sydney lucky enough to buy a MoonSwatch when they were released on Saturday was Apprentice Bobby; here’s how he managed to get the watch you all want:  It’s Thursday, I’m scrolling through Instagram and forums, all I can see are posts about the new MoonSwatch. Having had the opportunity to see and touch most of the coolest Speedmasters ever produced, being a massive fan of almost all of them, seeing this gets me over the moon with excitement. A quirky bio-ceramic quartz Speedmaster for less than the price of a leather strap for the real thing - I just know people are going to go insane for this. I plan to get to the swatch boutique at 4am, knowing how crazy some people can be for releases. 6 hours early should be enough. Right? 4:30pm Friday (T-16hrs), I walk past Swatch on my way back from the post office and my heart sinks, two camp chairs already been placed eagerly at the corner of the main entrance to Swatch - the business day not even over yet. Panic sets in, I realise if I am to have even a slim chance of getting the watch the day of its release, I would have to bump that 4am arrival back until as soon as I can make it back to the city. After finishing up, rushing home, and grabbing any supplies I have at my disposal, I jump back onto the train and eventually arrive back at Swatch. I arrive at 6:40pm, about 20 people have already formed a queue, it is very orderly and everyone is lined up single file along the Microsoft store. That is when I am greeted by a slender man with tattoos and a beard, wearing some cool shoes and speaking with authority - let’s call him ‘John’. “Hey man, what’s your name? I’m going to put you down on the list and we are doing roll call at 9pm” says John. At first I assumed that Swatch had hired him to organise the chaos that was brewing, but then I realised that, no, this man was part of the ‘drop’ community who Pitt st regulars will recognise as those usually wait outside shoe shops for Nike and Yeezy releases. At this moment it dawns on me like a cold moon-rise. I have unknowingly made one giant leap into the world of scalpers and flippers.

At 8:30pm the general vibe is orderly and calm, lots of people have arrived, some disappointed that they’re arriving to a long queue, others just happy to be there. There are lots of genuine enthusiasts there and we all chat to each other about all things watch related. We are obviously disappointed that the event has been taken over by scalpers, but none of us surprised.  At 11:30pm chaos ensues. There are now people filtering in from outside, sitting adjacent to the line, saying ‘hello’ to their friends earlier up in the line while setting up camp next to them. Other people are noticing and getting angry. A large group forms inside the entrance all trying to figure out how we’re going to regulate the position of everyone in the queue.

Everyone is shouting and arguing with John, tensions are running high, the scalpers and low-lives that have been filtering in and pushing up the line are getting annoyed that they’re being called out. John is now caught between trying to keep his mates happy who are there for a quick buck, and the growing number of people who are getting sick of their position being pushed back seemingly every minute. I suggest writing down numbers on the legal pad I brought with me, and handing them out to people in the respective position in the line. Many people are happy with this idea as it is the fairest and cannot be faked. But knowing that they would then not be able to let their mates in queue later, the scalpers earlier up the line begin to get annoyed with the idea. This goes on for about half an hour, people arguing their side, people getting angry that the scalpers refuse to play by the gentleman’s rule of ‘first in, best dressed’ and at one point it all starts to boil over. After telling everyone we all need to calm down otherwise we might get kicked out by police for disturbance and loitering I am shoved and told to come around the corner and ‘arc up’ (fight) by a kid not old enough to get his learners license, I just laugh at him. At this point everyone starts to yell at the obvious over reaction and the kid is pulled back by some of his mates and told to go and calm down. Realising if this situation is not dealt this would just turn into ‘Lord of the flies’, I call down Westfield security to at least manage some of what’s going on. Security comes down and lays down the law “if anyone rushes, pushes, threatens, or causes any disturbance to anyone else or Westfield property, everyone will be sent home and you might even be banned from Westfield for 3 years - we will also not hesitate to call the police to hand out move on orders.” Everything begins to calm down and everyone begins returning to their places, bar the few scalpers who have already set up camp and jumped queue.

It is now 2:30am - 8 hours down. It begins raining. More scalpers have filtered up to the front, saying hello to their friends and then swiftly setting up camp and joining them. John tries his best to tell them to move to the back but they are staying put. Shortly after, the scalpers begin to group together and two of them starting pushing each other and seemingly begin to fight. Security call - round 2. Security comes down and calms the chaos once again, people are split up and we are told to form a line with two people next to each other. Everyone gets in there positions.  7:30am. The taste in the air of sweet, sweet plastic Speedmasters is palpable. We are so close now to finding out whether this wait has been worth it. We can see a crowd gathering behind us, some there confused why everyone is so eager to get into Westfield, others there to try and sneak up the line. We receive word that the line has now reached past Rolex and Tag, past Breitling, past Grand Seiko, all the way on to Gucci at the other side of the block. The Westfield service entry opens and everyone perks up. The order remains, bar one person who tries to push into the front. A myriad of shouting and calling out begins “HEY HEY HEY, LADY IN THE HAT”. She swiftly walks out of the line and bows her head in shame. We begin to be let in, 10 at a time. We had now been waiting for 13 hours, no biggie. We get let inside to the civilised queue that has been set up by Westfield security. To our surprise a group of about 6 people that no one had seen the entire night were standing in the line in front of us. We all begin to yell for security, annoyed that anyone would try to cut in after the wait and torment we had all suffered. “We came in a different entrance”, “I paid someone for this spot” they exclaimed. What they didn’t count for was that spending over 13 hours with a group of people gives you a pretty good idea of who is in front of you and behind you. Everyone pushes past them and shames them, letting them know that they won’t be getting a watch today. Some walk off, some are removed by security later on. A short chat with security a few minutes later confirmed that several people had snuck in somehow and have now been banned from entering Westfields.

10am, I am now 10 meters from the door. The store opened about two hours ago. We can see all the people in front of us walking off with their Swatch bags. Some even bristly walking down the line to sell them to desperate would be customers, unsure as to how many watches would be left. Word is that there was around 15 of each model, so we all begin doing the math seeing if we are going to get the ones we want. I’m after Mercury, it seems to be the most popular, I’m nervous. Westfield has now opened to the regular shoppers and there is around 1000 people all pushing against each other, some in line with their ticket, some arguing with security, police, and staff saying that they don’t want to wait, others looking on in confusion as to why anyone would want a Swatch watch. I feel like I’m in a zoo and we’re the main attraction.

Finally, the rope is opened for me and I am ushered in. “What model?” “Mercury please” “Here you go, lucky last”. A sigh of relief, the wait has been worth it. I walk out feeling proud that I got the watch I wanted, and took away the opportunity to flip it from a potential scalper. I rip off the protective sticker, and slap the watch on my wrist. A group of boys see me with the Swatch bag. “Which one did you get?!” “I got the last Mercury”, I flash my wrist. “Are you gonna flip it?” “Definitely not, scalping is for losers”. One of them hugs me. “Thank you bro, you’re doing God’s work”.  So for those wondering what it takes to get the MoonSwatch on the day of release; a camp chair, a jumper and a jacket, 3 energy drinks, 24 chicken nuggets, 2 bathroom breaks, arriving almost 16 hours early, no sleep for 29 hours, 2 calls to security for chaos prevention, a loss of a lot of self respect, oh and of course, $380.

Was it worth? Probably not. Was it fun? Definitely. Would I do it again? Not. A. Chance.    Michael