Thursday, April 9, 2020

That's the way the cookie crumbles

This is not a joke.

Superman walks into the George Street Starbucks, in his freshly ironed shirt and crisp red cape.
"Mate, a large Mocha Cookie Crumble Frappuccino please".
The kid goes: "That would be $5. Your name?"
"FIVE DOLLARS? It was $4.50 last time. So, the price went up, huh?"
"No Sir, Mocha Cookie Crumble was always $5."
"I reckon kid, Starbucks is a bit of a rip-off joint, isn't it?"
says Superman while melting the Eftpos machine with his laser eye vision.

“That is a fictional scenario!” you say. “You've just made this up.”

It is 2:24 pm, Wednesday. Almost every single watch repair shop in Sydney is closed, as are almost all other shops - of any kind.

The doorbell rings. "I am a barrister from upstairs. Can you please replace a battery in my divers watch?"

Cheerfully and happily Gemma replies with an overly enthusiastic YES! "We can do it practically straight away; I'll call you when it's done."

She brings the watch to me for a quick assessment. Not a big deal, it is a straight forward Japanese divers watch. A battery replacement, light case clean and water pressure testing- $35.

"Hmm.... that much?" - asks the barrister. "I don't need the water pressure testing, just a battery".

I can feel the sudden rush of blood, time to step in.

"Is $35 too much?"
"Yes, I think it is."
"Then take it elsewhere."
"This is an easy and simple job
" he persists.
"I don't comment on your charges, or how difficult or easy your job is, do I?"
"All I am saying is $35 is bit too much".
"All I am saying is take it elsewhere, close the bloody door and go away".

But he doesn't. Like a pissed Superman, he continues to explain his case to Gemma, who is now confused, unsure of what to do.

The only way to get rid of him - is to give up and give in.

Mark my words - it won't be coronavirus that will wipe us out of business - it will be those stingy barristers from Culwulla Chambers.                         

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