Your New Smile

***Your new smile


About 10 years ago, at the time when our shop was located in Mosman, I went to see a local dentist for a minor 'dental repair'.
“Really a minor problem”, he said, “painful never the less, but while you here, I would like to share some good news”, he said.
Good news in a dental chair? “Have they finally invented a painless drill”, I naively asked.
“Well, the good news is, that in just a week or so, you can leave this practice with a brand new smile!”
It was obvious that I didn't need a new smile but I couldn't resist asking how much that new smile would cost.
“Only $32,000” he said cheerfully. “We will start with the lower jaw then move up, left, right and centre - and you will have the smile of a news presenter!”
Needless to say, I got the tooth fixed for $120 across the road.

You see, there are plenty of idiots out there happy to take advantage of you. Watchmakers are as bad as everyone else, so keep reading. 

About once a week I receive a service report from a subscriber who just submitted their watch to a "reputable" Swiss brand service centre. And most of them appear to be prepared by the “you'll have a new smile” watchmaker: your watch needs a battery replacement, but it is also scratched. We recommend case polishing. While we are polishing the case, we will also do a complete movement overhaul (your watch is due for one!). We also noticed that your dial is oxidised, as well as hands, so we will replace them. The total repair cost is $1,100.

So you took the watch for battery replacement only to find out that your watch is a piece of crap which can be brought to former glory for a mere $1,100.

Before I go any further: please do not send me your service report estimates! All of them come with a disclaimer clearly stipulating that you are NOT ALLOWED to share this information with anyone. So legally, you are breaking confidentiality law. (Sorry legal people, you know what I mean).
Equally I am not allowed to comment on reports or to mention names. Also, even if your watch does not need any of above, it would take lots of money and time to fight such reports. Now, it goes without saying that since 'the reputable brand' is not going to supply any spare parts to me, in most cases, I won’t be able to help you. This is the beauty of a monopoly: it kicks you in the guts and then robs you of the opportunity to source a service from a non-authorized third party. 

One of the trademarks of sophisticated thieving is the use of scary terms which are not commonly understood. Oxidation is a perfect example. Your apple turns brown in matter of minutes when sliced; steel rusts in rain in a matter of days and a silver watch dial does the same - coated or not, protected or not - over the period of a few years. In other words, oxidation is just a very natural process, and the end result - as on the watch dial and hands - is more of a cosmetic nature than of any functional concern. And here is my punch line: if you magnify any surface enough, you will see that discoloration, so technically and legally, it's there. But if you are happy with your smile and with your micro-oxidized dial, which you cannot even notice with a naked eye, then you should tell your Swiss brand that you don't want them replaced. This is your consumer's RIGHT and don't let it be taken away from you.

The final question is the one in relation to servicing. Does your watch needs a complete overhaul when in reality you just want a battery replacement? Well this one is easy to work out.

If your car runs out of petrol and you take it to the "brand" car maker service (without telling them that you've just run out of petrol!), then you can bet your last dollar that the service report would take the opportunity to list a number of parts which would require immediate replacement: filters, maybe a clutch, surely brake pads, right down to the rubber wipers. They will have no problem claiming that your 10 year old car is no longer performing "as when it was brand new" (which is obviously true) so legally, they are not breaking any law trying to sell you that new smile. The only reason why such reports are rare is because your Government knows that you need your car to get to work (so you can pay your tax) and therefore protects you from predators and monopolists.

But your government could not care less about your fancy watch so your only protection is to stand up and rebel against unwanted and unnecessary watch repairs yourself. Tell them to go to hell and just replace the darn battery or otherwise you'll take it to someone else who will.

Happy collecting,
Nick

Panerai PAM 112 Twins

Hey, Josh here.

This doesn’t happen every day so I thought “let’s frame it”.

Two identical Panerai PAM 112 arrived to our workshop with the same problem: a broken main spring. 

Working on two watches simultaneously is great fun. And the job can be completed almost as fast as when you’re working on one piece. The Panerai were powered up by ETA 6497-2 movements.

The only thing that left me under-impressed was the Perlage finish of the main plate. The only finishing was done on the externally visible parts of the main plate, whereas the areas under the bridge were left raw and unfinished. This would be as if a painter painted your whole house, but not the areas covered by furniture. 

Obviously Panerai is not in the business of impressing watchmakers.

Happy collecting,
Josh

Another filthy Rolex bracelet

One would think that a watch owner who just spent $6,000 on a Rolex Submariner would at least make a modest effort to keep his valuable and fine timepiece in decent condition. Unfortunately, some watch owners could not care less.

Here are a couple of photos of a Rolex Submariner that came in for overhaul.







The amount of dirt and filth built underneath the clasp is just unbelievable. Not only that sand and dust will eat away the metal links in no time, especially when the bracelet is worn loose (embedded particles of sand act like grinding paste), but such filth (and I really don't have a better word to describe it) can cause a serious health problem.

All this can be avoided with just a bit of common sense. A stainless steel bracelet of a waterproof watch should be cleaned regularly. A toothbrush and soapy water (e.g. dishwashing detergent) will do a marvelous job.

The Curse of the White Towel

Early morning breakfast without reading the daily papers is inconceivable. Having nothing better to do, my attention was caught by a small label sticking out from a cotton towel laying on the kitchen table:

"Wash separately before use. Wash dark colours separately. Warm gentle machine wash at max temp 40C. Do not use oxidizing/chlorine based bleaching agents. Avoid excessive use of fabric softeners and detergents containing optical brighteners. Warm tumble dry.
Do not iron or dry-clean. 100% cotton..."

Before you stop reading and conclude that I'm going cuckoo, I just want to make a point out of this random, ordinary observation. Isn't it amazing how much information the $5 dollar towel manufacturer provided on the label concerning "duty of care", required to keep the towel in top condition for the years to come?

Yet, how many high grade, elaborated and expensive watches come with any information such as "How to care" manual, service papers, or even technical information?

Here is an example of an International Guarantee card, enclosed with a $2,500 high-grade mechanical Swiss watch:

"This ... watch has been manufactured at Bienne Switzerland with choice materials only. For two years from date of sale, this watch is guaranteed against all defects, except those resulting from willful neglect."

How pathetic!

Believe it or not, the most common factor that cause the premature death of watches is not poor design, bad engineering or inferior parts used in production... The real 'cause of death' is simply a lack of regular maintenance and basic understanding of the watch's functionality.

It is a common mistake from all watch manufacturers to spend too little time (if any) in educating new owners upon acquiring their precious products. Instead, more effort and money are invested in advertising brand names, less on how to care for the watch.

Obviously, watch manufacturers are not very keen to tell you the truth:
Your mechanical watch is NOT capable of keeping flawless time,
it is most likely NOT water or shock resistant
and it requires maintenance on a regular basis, performed by an expert watchmaker.

If your watch would come with a label, like the ones produced by Caninngvale Australia, it would read something along those lines:


"Your watch is miracle of mechanical engineering. Although beautiful and expensive, it is very fragile so extra care is needed to assure proper performance. It is built to last for ever, as long as you take care of it -so complete overhaul on a regular basis is absolutely essential. Do not wear it while showering, surfing, swimming, being in the sauna, playing golf or sailing.
Do not wear it while operating electrical tools, bungee jumping or on public transport after midnight. If you do so, then you'll get what you deserve, or more precisely you'll lose what you don't deserve in the first place.

Branding is nothing. Your watch is not of investment value because watches in general are poor investment. However if you look after it like you should, it will have enormous sentimental value to your kids - until the day they run out of cash."


So there you go - I can't help but help.