Thursday, March 21, 2013

The Sulphur Crested Cockatoo

"Nick, Gordon here. I am your colleague, a watch valuer. You've kindly helped me couple of times last year and I wonder if I can pick your brain one more time?"

"I am listening, Gordon".

"Nick, I got two watches here, both Rolex. Can you tell me what do I need to look for to make sure they are original?"

"Gordon, I don't think I can help you with that, sorry."

"Oh Nick, don't be like that - I know you can. There is a number on a bracelet..."

"Mate, stop it right there. I really can't help. You know it is impossible to tell the fake from genuine based on verbal description. It's also highly unethical and unprofessional, and frankly quite irresponsible to value items without physical inspection!"

"Yes I know you are right, but please get me out of trouble just one more time."

"If you want me to help you, bring the watches over and I'll help you. But remember, I do charge $95 for a valuation."

"Nick, I only charge $25. Unlike yours, my customers are crap."

"No Gordon, it's your valuations that are crap. Now get of your backside and do something about it for the sake of your own reputation."

"Nick, quite frankly, I am disappointed with your attitude. I won't bother you again."

Feeding lazy valuers is like feeding Sulphur crested cockatoos. They chew on your TV coax cable, and you clean up the mess.

Watercolour by TanyaH

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